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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

AMAZING HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

4 comments:

DJ Kirkby said...

Brilliant! I loved these home 'remedies'.

ImNoBetterThanU said...

It seems that I need a list of home remedies for the situations created by using these home remedies!

For examples:
1. How to stitch a stab wound when I cut the other persons fingers.

2. Where do I wash my hands?

3. How to tie a tourniquet?

4. I now fail to set the alarm clock for fear of the mouse trap on top of the alarm clock? Yet I have no money to buy another one...

5. Will Oxyclean, clean my shorts?

6. I put too much WD-40...so then I put duct tape...but it will not stick due to the large amount of WD-40...now what?

7. I hit something electrical and it melted my hammer...may I borrow yours?

ImNoBetterThanU said...

Hey, I wanted to thank you for stopping by and for the kind words about my son. I would have emailed you this but I could not find that information readily available. I too am not a faithful blogger but I try to keep new posts coming.

The one and only REAL Meg Kelso said...

That was adorable! Your mother looks like fun. I wish I had one!

Meg